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But apparently I was unconsciously projecting some kind of “I don’t like strong emotions, you’d better avoid those” field, and my patients were unconsciously complying.I wish I could say my supervisor’s guidance fixed the problem and I learned to encourage emotional openness just as well as my colleague.But any improvement I made was incremental at best.My colleague is a bubbly extravert who gets very excited about everything; I worry that to match her results, I would have to somehow copy her entire personality. I found myself doing well with overly emotional patients, the sort who had too many dramatic meltdowns to do therapy with anybody else.This means that it is essentially biologically impossible for [them] to distrust.

Don’t you wish you could just go one day without that happening?Then Isabelle overheard a lady just down the beach. Essentially, the woman blamed Jessica for not keeping closer watch on her daughter — for neglecting to teach her the importance of not getting into a car with someone she didn’t know. “It’s like, ‘My friend, you have no idea,’ ” Jessica says. And when the doorbell rings, Jessica will leap over a coffee table to intercept her.“She was telling her kids, ‘OK, let’s go to the Dairy Queen,’ ” Jessica says. In fact, because of Isabelle, Jessica has had to rethink even the most basic elements of her day-to-day life. It’s not just Jessica and her family who must be vigilant. A few years ago I had lunch with another psychiatrist-in-training and realized we had totally different experiences with psychotherapy. As per the textbooks, there should be a climactic moment where the patient identifies me with their father, then screams at me that I ruined their childhood, then breaks down crying and realizes that she loved her father all along, then ??? ” or “Maybe you feel like screaming at me right now? So I figured the textbooks were misleading, or that this was some kind of super-advanced technique, or that this was among the approximately 100% of things that Freud just pulled out of his ass. We were both in the same training program, studying under the same teachers. In particular, all her patients had dramatic emotional meltdowns, and all my patients gave calm and considered analyses of their problems, as if they were lecturing on a particularly boring episode from 19th-century Norwegian history. I wish I could get my patients to have dramatic emotional meltdowns. I tried, I even dropped some hints, like “Maybe this reminds you of your father?” And later, my supervisor was reviewing one of my therapy sessions, and I was surprised to hear him comment that I “seemed uncomfortable with dramatic expressions of emotion”.